Connecting With Students
Building rapport is a skill all teachers can develop and succeed at doing.
The quickest way to build rapport: Let the other person appear smart.
I still remember one of my favorite classes from years ago during my spell at Teacher’s College. Not because of the material we covered, my fabulous cohort of classmates, but because of the teacher. She had this effortless way of making everyone feel they mattered. She knew our names by the second class, laughed easily at our mistakes, and somehow always remembered that I was nervous about speaking in front of others. When I stumbled over my words, she never rushed me. She just waited, nodded, and gave me the space to find my voice. That sense of safety changed everything for me as a student teacher.
So much of “good teaching” is simply creating rapport and a strong relationship with students. You won’t succeed all the time, 100% but if mostly successful, you’ll have accomplished something satisfying and special.
Now, as an English teacher myself, I carry that memory with me every day. Building rapport with your students isn’t just a nice bonus—it’s essential. When students feel safe, they are willing to take risks, make mistakes, and ultimately grow. Here are five simple, reliable ways to build that connection in your 2nd language classroom. (And no, you don’t need to ask anyone to dress up like animals.)
1. Learn their names.
Depending on your teaching context, this can be either a simple task or a real challenge. When I was a beginning teacher in the Czech Republic, I had nearly two hundred students a week. I still remember taking attendance for the first time, staring at the roster filled with long, unfamiliar Czech names—Jan, Jakub, Jana, for instance - and thinking, “There’s no way I’ll ever remember all of these.”
Since I learn best through visuals, I asked each student to create their own illustrated name tag and keep it on their desk. After a few weeks, I had every name memorized. I’d spot a student in the hallway and immediately picture how they had decorated their tag.
Learning names takes a bit of extra effort, but it’s absolutely doable. More importantly, it shows your students that they matter to you. So do whatever it takes—just learn those names. See our tips for doing this!
2. Enjoy yourself.
This might sound obvious, but once you’re standing in front of a classroom, it’s surprisingly easy to forget. The simple truth is this: if you’re not having fun, your students won’t either.
As the teacher, you set the emotional tone for the room. Your energy is contagious. So, make a point to smile, teach lessons you genuinely enjoy, and bring a sense of joy into your work.
3. Practice patience.
I used to think I was a patient person—until my first day teaching ESL. Patience takes on a whole new meaning when you’re on your feet for hours, listening to student after student struggle through the pronunciation of a word like “thirteen.” But if you want your students to feel safe enough to try producing unfamiliar sounds in front of the whole class, patience is non-negotiable. Give them the time they need to get it wrong, again and again, until they finally get it right.
There’s nothing more discouraging than trying your best while feeling rushed by an impatient teacher. So don’t be that teacher. Cultivate patience.
4. Learn at least one thing about each student’s life outside class.
If you truly want your students to feel that you care about them, you have to actually care about them. It’s that simple. [see our post about Nel Noddings, on this topic]
A meaningful way to demonstrate that is by showing interest in what they do beyond the classroom. If Sarah mentions during an icebreaker that she loves going to the movies, make a mental note of it—or write it down if you need to. The next time you see her, ask if she’s watched anything good lately. Those small gestures go a long way in building trust. And chances are, you’ll find yourself genuinely caring about them, which is one of the most rewarding parts of the job.
5. Share a few things about your own life.
Building connection is a two-way street. Students are naturally curious about the person standing at the front of the room, so don’t hesitate to share little pieces of yourself. Tell them about your weekend camping trip or your favorite band when it fits the lesson. It reminds them that you’re a real person, not an ESL robot, and gives them something to connect with.
I often shared funny stories from my own journey learning Spanish—especially the embarrassing moments when I accidentally said the wrong thing. Like talking about my lawyer (abogado) and using the word “avocado”! Showing a bit of vulnerability helps put students at ease and makes them more comfortable about taking risks themselves.
One great book that focuses on this aspect of “transaction” and which influenced me immensely as a teacher is Carl Roger’s – On Becoming A Person. Highly recommend.
So, there you have it—five straightforward ways to become the teacher your students will still remember years from now, when someone asks them about the classes that made a difference. And here’s the bonus: you’ll end up enjoying your class just as much as they do. And that’s never a bad thing. Happy teaching!
